There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
