He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
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I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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