Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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