oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
