whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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