Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
