Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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