btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
