please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Houston, we have a squirter
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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