How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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