I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
