I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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