My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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