is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
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According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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