My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
