so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
