I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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