please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
