This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The uberlube is also flammable
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
