I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
