Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I need a hoe opinion
go on
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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