I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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