And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
