Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
being pregnant is like rehab
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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