he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think your dad took our porno
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Randomize
