Have you finally orgasmed yet?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
