Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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