There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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