Im at strip club and am horny
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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