when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
