My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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