Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
