I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
