At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
