it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
bring money and cleavage
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
