It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
