you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
