Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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