Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize