Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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