Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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