i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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