so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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