There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
