it wasn't lemon gatorade
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
