The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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