i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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