Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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