I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
