I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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