My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
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