i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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