which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
