hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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