We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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