Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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