i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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