Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
