Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
