No awkward lesbian experiences without me
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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