when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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