Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry definatelymaybe1 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.

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(315): View more from New York

I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.

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(770): View more from Georgia

If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?

(910): View more from North Carolina

That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?

(770): View more from Georgia

Touche.

(910): View more from North Carolina

I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(281): View more from Texas

You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"

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(501): View more from Arkansas

somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit

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(515): View more from Iowa

she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex

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(347): View more from New York

Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes

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(904): View more from Florida

Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?

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