I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
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