Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm at about main and main street
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
