you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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