also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
