it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
