It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
