Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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