Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
